Have you ever had to move?!?! I mean pack up all your SH….stuff and MOVE!!

Leaving from home to go to college – move!!

Come back for summers – move!!

Go back for 2nd through 4th years – move!!

Pursue your masters – move!!

Job opportunity – move!!

Change cities, states, islands – move… move… move!!

Get married – move!!

Get divorced – move!!

Not that all of these moves pertain to me but I know one thing for certain, moving wears you OUT!! It wore me out just thinking of all those times I’ve had to do it myself. I mean, which box did I put the batteries for the tv remote?!?! Or how bout the 12 champagne flutes that I got as a wedding gift – sitting in the little cupboard above the fridge. Yeah, who was supposed to look for them there when it’s time to toast?!?! Moving is so inconvenient yet sometimes…. so necessary!! Grab that drink – I’m moving again!!

This time, I’m moving my feelings aside and getting through to who I was raised to be. My mother was the strongest, most fearless woman I know. She battled constantly – most of those battles I’m discovering details in paper trails left behind (not intentionally I’m sure). I have seen her struggle to raise both my sister and myself on a teacher’s salary with the debates of joining clubs, or participating in paid events. Then came the hard decision she made to leave the comfort of teaching (something she did for over 20 years) to venture into a career that she had never studied before, Human Resources.

As a mother, I have made decisions since February 22nd 2018 based on how I would want to care for my son. I do not ever want him to grow up not feeling like his mother wasn’t giving it her all for him, that was how I was raised. Within these months of COVID, things have drastically changed for me. I have been actively seeking employment while raising Dash and it’s been… a time!! So often I’ve felt overwhelmed and totally out of control but, feelings aside – I reflect on one of my most awakening “moves”.

I mentioned that my parents divorced but, before that came separation. During this separation, my dad stayed in the family home while my mom, sister and I moved into a 2 bedroom apartment close by. The years went by and the divorce settlement was finally ready – my mom was granted the home again but by this time, my sister was already off in college. This time, this move meant it would be just my mom and myself to move back into a place where my dad lived, on his own for years in a 3 bed – 2 bath home.

The first look we had after my dad left was where the awakening came. She and I walked in, went into each bedroom, checked out the bathrooms and last went into the kitchen – turned around and walked back into the doorway. While we surveyed the spaces, all we did was suck our teeth – roll our eyes and deeply inhale. So when we were ready to leave, I asked my mummy, “so, what do you wanna do?” She responded very quickly, “surround this place with dynamite and blow this shi# up!!” While I agreed with her, I knew that wasn’t really her plan… she was hurt and frustrated but, she wanted her home back – WE wanted our home back!! So I was told I came up with a powerful message – one that I will have to OWN from this day forward. I said, “we will take it one day at a time, one room at a time!”

So yes, that’s what impact MOVING has on me now. I will take it one day at a time – one room at a time…. unpacking all of my feelings as I go. I’m allowed to have feelings but I’m also allowed to want what I want and make sure who I am and what I’m capable of isn’t overlooked. I’m ecstatic for this move – THIS calls for champagne!! “CHEERS!!”